10 Best Uses Of A Beverage In A Movie
10. Water promoted by the whole cast from Signs
Bo: There’s a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?
[giving the dog a bowl of water]
Bo: It tastes funny.
[Morgan takes a sip]
Morgan: It does not. It’s just tap water. Besides, he licks his butt every day, I don’t think he’ll mind.
Graham Hess: Come on, now, you’re too old to be doing this. You get a glass of water, and leave it lying around instead of finishing it. Now what’s wrong with this one?
Bo: It has dust in it.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: A hair.
Graham Hess: And this one?
Bo: Morgan took a sip and it’s got his amoebas in it.
9. Mountain Dew promoted by “the Extreme guys” from Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle
Cole: “Let’s go get some fuckin’ Mountain Dew.”
Other skater guy: “EXTREME!”
8. Booty Sweat promoted by Alpa Chino from Tropic Thunder
Alpa Chino: “Drink Booty Sweat, baby! Drink Booty Sweat!”
Kirk Lazarus: [mockingly] “Yeah, get him chuggin’ on some of Alpa’s ass-water. That’ll bring him around, it’s a cure-all… “
7. Maple syrup promoted by Super Troopers Thorny vs. Rabbit
Captain O’Hagan: “I’m sorry, Bruce. These boys get that syrup in ‘em, they get all antsy in their pantsy.”
6. Tie between Brawndo from Idiocracy and Minotaur from Role Models
Idiocracy
[cabinet has been debating putting water on the plants instead of Brawndo]
Pvt. Joe Bowers: What *are* these electrolytes? Do you even know?
Secretary of State: They’re… what they use to make Brawndo!
Pvt. Joe Bowers: But *why* do they use them to make Brawndo?
Secretary of Defense: [raises hand after a pause] Because Brawndo’s got electrolytes.
Role Models
Danny: [while urinating neon green liquid from drinking too much Minotaur] Jeez, it’s like Shrek’s piss.
The 8 Best Movie Cameos of 2008
Here are some of the best movie cameos of the year.
Samuel L. Jackson in Iron Man
Robert Downey Jr in The Incredible Hulk
Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder
DreamWorks has managed to remove all of Tom Cruise’s Tropic Thunder scenes from YouTube so this is the best I could do. It’s still funny as hell.
Neil Patrick Harris in Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo
Chris Rock in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan
Stephen Colbert in The Love Guru
Justin Long in Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Seth Rogen in Step Brothers
Honorable Mentions:
Masi Oka in Get Smart
Tracy Morgan in Superhero Movie
Sigourney Weaver in Be Kind Rewind
Mitch Pileggi in X-Files: I Want to Believe
Top 20 Most Entertaining Movie & TV Santas
20. John Call - Santa Claus Conquers The Martians
Santa Claus Conquers The Martians is entertainingly bad. Momar (Mom Martian) and Kimar (King Martian) believe that their kids, Girmar and Bomar are watching too much Earth TV, especially Santa Claus on KID-TV. In order for the kids to have more fun on Mars, Santa must be kidnapped.
They kidnap Santa and make him build toys in a factory. Eventually Kimar decides to make a martian Santa Claus out of Dropo, another silly martian. Santa gets sent back to Earth and I save you 81 minutes of time from watching the movie. John Call plays Santa.
This was John Call’s last major role in a movie or TV show since.
19. Bill Goldberg - Santa’s Slay
Santa’s Slay was directed by David Steiman, a former assistant of Brett Ratner of Rush Hour fame. The movie is about Santa Claus killing a bunch of locals. It turns out that Santa is actually Satan’s son that was forced to deliver toys as a result to losing a bet to Nicholas Yuleson’s grandfather, who is also an angel. Since the terms of the bet ended, Santa wanted to take his revenge out on everyone.
Professional wrestler Bill Goldberg plays Santa in Santa’s Slay. Goldberg also has roles in Looney Tunes: Back In Action, The Longest Yard, and Ready To Rumble.
18. Rickey Smiley - Friday After Next
Friday After Next is the third and last movie in the Friday series starring Ice Cube. Although this movie was not as good as the original, there were a few funny parts. Rickey Smiley dresses up as Santa Claus and robs Craig (Ice Cube) and Day-Day’s (Mike Epps) house.
Although Craig was able to give Santa a good bashing, he still managed to escape with their rent money and Christmas presents. Landlord Ms. Pearly threaten Craig and Day-Day that if she does not get her money, then she’ll send Damon after them. Damon is Ms. Pearly’s homosexual ex-convict son.
Rickey Smiley is a standup comedian and has performed on Comic View and Def Comedy Jam.
17. Edward Ivory - The Nightmare Before Christmas The Night Before Christmas was co-written by Tim Burton. The story is about “Halloween Town” resident Jack Skellington. Skellington accidentally found “Christmas Town” and was impressed by the nature of the holiday. Skellington goes back to Halloween Town and tells his friends what he has seen.
People in Halloween Town capture Santa Claus and Jack eventually becomes the Santa Claus of Halloween Town. Jack even sets up his own sleigh made out of a coffin and delivers all sorts of creepy presents to everyone. The military shoots his sleigh down and Jack decides to focus more on Halloween once again.
Edward Ivory plays the voice of the actual Santa. Ivory also had minor roles in Nine Months and Quest of the Delta Knights.
16. John Goodman(voice) - Futurama (as Santa Claus Robot) “Xmas Story” is the 4th episode in the second season of Futurama. When Fry was on a ski trip, he started to miss the 20th century Christmas way of celebrating. To bring back memories, Fry decides to buy Leela a present, but the gang warns him to be back before dark otherwise he may be murdered by the robotic Santa Claus, voiced by John Goodman.
Mom’s Friendly Robot Company made a robotic version of Santa Claus to automatically determine who has been naughty or nice, but a programming error caused the robot to believe everyone is naughty and want to murder them. Fry doesn’t make it back in time before dark and the gang end up having to battle robot Santa.
15. Mickey Rooney(Voice) - The Year Without A Santa Claus Santa Claus, voiced by Mickey Rooney, wakes up with a cold and his doctor tells him that he should make a few changes in his present delivery routine. The elves, Jingle, and Jangle have to find people that still believe in Santa Claus despite his absence. One of the reindeers gets mistaken for a homeless dog and it gets sent to the pound. The mayor of South Town says that he will release the reindeer if Jingle and Jangle prove they are Santa’s elves by making it snow on Christmas Day.
This wasn’t the last time that Rooney would be playing Santa. He played Santa in the movie Wreck the Halls, The Happy Elf, The Love Boat, and Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July.
